I want to thank you. Thank you for being the steady breeze that keeps me aloft. Thank you for being my air when my chest caves in. Thank you for impromptu movie marathons. Thank you for days spent on sugar rushes and energy drinks. Thank you for all those moments in tense silence reading the same book. Thank you for hearing my silence.
I am grateful to have someone like you. I can tell you I’m not okay and you won’t shame me, blame me, or punish me. I can smile at you knowing that you can see what lies behind it and it won’t scare you away. You didn’t tell me to get over it, or move on, or ask if I tried not thinking horrid thoughts; you held me, you cried with me, you sat with me. When I’m with you I can feel my existence begin to mean something. I can feel myself letting go of the hate I have for myself. People tell me that I have many reasons to live, that I have so much to see and do… No matter how many adventures I might have from here on, no matter how many things I find that make me happy to be alive, there’s only one reason I chose to live, and that’s you.
I am thankful that I get to send you a thank you letter instead of a suicide letter. Should you ever feel as though no one needs you, please read this again as many times as you need. I am alive because of you. You’re my somebody.